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Orphan Black Recap: Transitory Sacrifices of Crisis


Can I just say that Orphan Black has the best episode titles?
Dr. Nealon starts us off by finding the dead guard killed by Castor clone Seth aka él hombre de mustachio (and no, that is not correct good right Spanish). Dr. Nealon makes a mysterious phone call informing someone, “We’ve got trouble right here in River City. That starts with T and that rhymes with C and that stands for Castor!”
And what has psycho clone Rudy done with his freedom since being sprung by Seth? Why, picked up a girl of course. And she’s totally into him. Little does she know he has a disgusting three way planned for her, something she discovers as two pairs of hands grope her instead of one.
We’re spared any more creepiness by the opening credits. We pick up with Clone family extraordinaire as Sarah, Kira and Cal make their way into a new town home Cal has just purchased/rented. He wants them all to make a home there. Sarah grudgingly but happily admits she kinda likes the idea. If I looked anything like any of these three people I would be ecstatic for at least a day. So stinking cute!
And then it’s back to the Creepy Creepster Castor Clones. They’re recovering from their night of sexual assault and debauchery. Thankfully, Paul is there to put them through some tests. I begin having flashbacks to taking the PSAT as Paul quizzes the clones. Rudy passes with flying colors. But Seth can’t handle a question that I don’t understand at all but that he clearly is supposed to know. Yes, logic eludes me. And also, why do I still want Sarah with Paul even though Cal is clearly the better person? I’m having Carrie/Mr. Big/Aidan flashbacks. Paul gives the clones their orders: they are to leave town. Get back to base. I get the impression Rudy is going AWOL instead. 
Meanwhile, back at Camp Clone, Scott is there to check up on Cosima but instead gets checked out by Felix, which gives Scott the giggles. And Felix didn’t even give him the full Felix. 
Scott discovers Cosima is doing much better, but they both temper their excitement as they are unsure it will last. Scott tells Cosima they have a meeting with Dr. Nealon that afternoon. She tells Scott she’s in, but not before getting her new clone phone: it’s blue! “As the skies of lesbos.” says Felix. 
In Suburbia, Donnie and Allison are going all Weeds on us. Marci Coates is there, giving another television interview at the soccer field. Is she campaigning for the school board or soccer mom of the year? And who wears heels like that on a soccer field? 
Donnie and Allison have so many delicious lines in this scene I want to mention them all: 
Allison on running against Marci:
Allison: I could beat her Donnie. I could beat her like a french meringue. 
Donnie says they may have to sell the house. 
Allison: And what would we do with a corpse in the garage Donnie? 
Donnie:Whoa! Ixnay on that, come on! 
Donnie tries to cheer up Allison, Team Hendrix! 
Donnie: Fist me! Fist me! 
Allison: Fist you? 
Donnie: That’s the saying.
Allison then learns her former drug dealer is heading off to college so she decides she wants to take over his business. Team Hendrix decides it’s all in the game yo. 
Back at Cal’s, Sarah and Kira and Cal are having an amazing time when Detective Bell calls. He’s talked to the woman who was assaulted by Rudy and Seth, and Sarah wants to talk to her immediately. She’s even willing to give up an afternoon with Cal to do it.
And then there’s this scene. I have no idea what happened because I refused to watch the water boarding. You’ll have to see it for yourself. Helena is in Castor hell. Doctor Virginia Coady comes in to “stop” the torture, and be Helena’s rescuer. She may think this is a good psychological move to get Helena to trust her, but she’s clearly never met Helena. 
We leave Helena’s hell and find Felix is busy nursing S and trying to get her to cheer up. She’s not having it, she knows Sarah too well to be hopeful that they can reconcile. Felix gives her a burner phone and tells her to get to work.
Cosima and Scott are at Dyad behaving like brother and sister, waiting for Dr. Nealon to come in. Cosima lets Dr. Nealon know she knows what he thinks she knows about the Castor clones. Dr. Nealon says the original genome was destroyed by the Duncans. Dr. Nealon claims the Duncans also created the Castor clones, and the original donors are lost to history.
Sarah has made her way down to the police station where she confronts Art and the woman from the sexual assault. She’s willing to talk to Sarah and reveals that the clones yanked out her hair after they were done and took down her information. They kept the hair in a baggie, as you do. And by the way, did I miss something? When did Art turn on Sarah? He’s all, “Never come back here.”
Allison and Donnie are ready to kick their new pill franchise into high gear. Donnie tries to get Allison to be cool: “Sometimes when you get started on something you can go a little, shoop! “ Allison has no idea what he’s talking about. Donnie tells the drug dealer they’re taking over, and they’re tough enough to handle it.Yeah. don’t doubt their stones. They have ample stones. They purchase everything for $32,000 despite Donnie wanting to go consignment and get the drugs Rent-A-Center style.
Creepy Seth is waiting outside some vacant area, and talks to Rudy on the phone. Rudy gets Seth to admit he’s “glitching.” Seth can’t seem to think straight anymore. And then Rudy breaks into Felix’s apartment. 
Cosima tries to get Sarah to go to S in order to get to Paul to get to Castor to get to Helena. Sarah isn’t interested. But she does finally go see S and asks how to get in touch with Paul. But S says he’s gone dark. And they’re all in the dark. S says you can’t fight in the dark: get out. Into the light. And bring a candle for gods sake. In case you’re back in the dark.
At Camp Scorpion Helena is being put through her PSATs. Her pal the Scorpion is trying to get Helena to be cheeky, but Helena doesn’t need any help. “I would like to see these mangoes.” Dr. Coady again intercedes just as one of the Castor Clones is about to throttle Helena. She takes her for a walk and tells Helena Sarah sold her out and sent her to the camp. Helena does not believe her.
This episode is rife with horror movie vibes. (And let me just say here Ari Millen would make an amazing Norman Bates). We get the first such scene when Cal hears a noise and goes out to investigate, turning his back on his door. Cal!! Have you learned nothing from these past few months with Sarah? Luckily it’s just Paul. He has a warning for Sarah. Paul knows Sarah won’t listen to him so it’s up to Cal to tell her: get the hell out of Dodge and away from Creepy Creepster Castor Clones. 
It turns out Sarah won’t listen to Cal either. She’s back at Felix’s with Kira and her phone is on vibrate so she doesn’t hear Cal call to warn her. If she picked up her phone and talked to the operator she would say: the clone is coming from inside your house! Specifically he is hiding in Kira’s Sixth Sense tent. 
Sarah insists on starting a loud bath while Kira wanders off right into the waiting arms of Killer Clone Rudy. He has creepy X’s painted over his eyes in tribute to Felix’s artwork. And he wants answers. Only Sarah doesn’t have what he’s looking for: Duncan’s research and tissue samples of the Castor original.
Downstairs from the drama in the apartment, Cal arrives to save Sarah. But first he has to get past Glitchy Clone Seth. Seth looks ready to shoot Cal rather than let him pass. Cal is saved by the fact that Seth’s hard drive has a meltdown right in front of him, causing Seth to collapse. 
Sarah convinces Rudy she doesn’t know anything. Rudy finally leaves after Sarah reveals she knows about Seth and how it feels to want to protect your brother/sister/clone. Rudy hears Seth screaming as he has totally collapsed. He then decides to Old Yeller Seth, shooting him. 
Rudy lets Cal live and leaves. Cal and Sarah have seen enough. They’re getting Kira away to safety. Cal is taking her to Iceland and Sarah is staying behind to finish things with Castor. It’s an emotional goodbye. 
Followed by Castor Clone Mark burning his Castor tattoo off his arm with a blowtorch. I can’t believe this procedure is approved by the American Medical Association.
Missing from this episode: 
Delphine. Must’ve gotten caught up trying to straighten her hair.
Orphan Black Recap: Transitory Sacrifices of Crisis Reviewed by Deborah Thompson on 12:12 AM Rating: 5

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