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Orphan Black Recap: Episode 5

When last we left Clone Club, Sarah was on her way to join Helena at Camp Inch Clone Camp where Helena has just been beaten for killing Frankenstein Clone, Parsons. Helena wakes up to Pupok giving her a big dose of "I told you so." Helena no care for this and flicks sand all over Pupok. This sand flicking uncovers a nail. Helena is thrilled... she can do some more redecorating on her back. What Helena doesn't know is that Sarah is in the next cell over, unconscious.

Down the road from Bunk Serendipity, Rudy and Momma Clone, Dr. Coady, are examining the remains of Johanssen's son. The camp doctor hopes that by comparing baby clone's genome to the Castor clones they can isolate the defect and cure the clones, develop a gene therapy. Dr. Coady sends Rudy away on leave for 48 hours because Paul is on his way back and she doesn't want the two to get into it.

Sarah finally comes to and starts screaming for someone to let her out. Helena reveals to Sarah that she is in the cell next door. Sarah can't believe she's finally found her and that Helena is "most wonderful." But Helena's pissed. Apparently she does believe that Sarah put her there, that Sarah made the deal with Dr. Coady to take her. 

Sarah: Are you okay?
Helena: I am most wonderful.
Sarah: Hey, look at me. What have they done to you?
Helena: You put me here.
Sarah: What? No, hey are you hurt?
Helena: You did this to me! And now you make deal with their mother. Me for you.
Sarah: Shit!
Helena: Yes, much shit.
Sarah tries to convince Helena that's not what happened, but Pupok goes all Parent Trap on Helena saying, "The nerve of her! Coming here with your face!" Pupok warns Helena not to trust Sarah.

Back at home, Art is worried about Sarah, unable to reach her, when Gracie turns up at his doorstep. Art should really think about having an unlisted address. Art invites Gracie in. She explains to him what happened, and he decides he's going to take her to a shelter because she's an expectant mother. Gracie lets him know that she's lost the baby. So it's on to plan B: Felix and Mrs. S.

But Felix and Mrs. S are busy kitchen kibitzing. Mrs. S is worried about Sarah but Felix assures her it will be okay. Meanwhile, they've got bigger things to worry about: Cosima's sapphire date. She's at a bar, waiting for her date to arrive: Shay, a holistic healer. The two quickly hit it off and settle in for a Cosi chat.

Sarah and Helena are still going in circles at Camp Clone:
No I didn't.
Yes you did.
No I didn't.
Yes you did.
No I didn't.
Shut up about the butter.
Wait, what? Helena believes Sarah betrayed her and she won't believe anything else. And Pupok's going on about butter. I can't believe it's not butter a talking scorpion. This trip is interrupted by Army Clone coming in to deliver lunch and take Sarah for a "head down" walk to see Mother Clone. Just before she gets dragged out, Sarah blurts out to Helena that the Castor Clones are their brothers. Helena has a mild reaction, before going back to studying her butter. Helena wanders over to the cell door, pulling on the bars in the door opening. And one of them appears to be loose. This causes Helena to quickly go to her secret hidey hole.... And we don't get to see what's in it.

On just the other side, Mother Clone is acting all badass, surrounded by lots of men with guns. Sarah is not impressed, and puts up a good front, calling Dr. Coady a bad mother. Dr. Coady dismisses Sarah's concern for Helena saying Helena is much more comfortable in her cell than out in the real world because she has been institutionalized all her life. Sarah scoffs, but all that bravado quickly disappears when it becomes clear she's going to be subjected to more medical testing.

The Castor Campers want her stem cells or some such shit so they can continue this long drawn out process of trying to cure the castors. Give it up already. Nurture vs. Nature - let Mother Nature win why don't you? Sarah sums all our feelings up calling Dr. Coady a "psycho bitch."

While Sarah's having the blood sucked out of her by Mother Dracula, Art is bringing Gracie to Mrs. S and Felix. He wants them to let her stay at Mrs. S's house. Felix is not happy. "She doesn't look ready for cult deprogramming to me." Little do you know, Felix. He grudgingly takes Gracie upstairs saying, "You, baby Jesus, come up the stairs with me." I like that he says come "up the stairs" instead of "upstairs." Mrs. S and Art are both concerned about Sarah, and Art promises to redouble his efforts to find her.

At Camp Clone, guards throw a much paler Sarah back into her cell. Maybe it's the loss of a gallon of blood, the desert heat, or just general pissiness, but Sarah's had it with Helena. When Helena tells Sarah she doesn't believe that the Castor clones are their brothers, Sarah lashes out. She throws Dr. Coady's words at Helena saying, "I don't care what you believe. You're institutionalized." Sarah says Helena loves it at Camp Clone. Helena has more bizarre things to say that leads Sarah to believe Helena may have discovered a way out of Camp Clone, but if she has, she's not sharing. 

While drama ensues at Castoroga, Cosima is doing the only "normal" thing in the episode: enjoying her date. However, it soon becomes clear that even she is not free of the crazy net as we see someone photographing her and Shay from a distance. Delphine? There's no distance between Cosima and Shay as Cosima invites Shay to "go somewhere" with her.

Dr. Coady is in Creepy Creepster mode at Camp Clone as she checks in on Mark. Mark has had surgery for his many wounds but Mrs. Bates Mother only wants to know about this shiny thing on Mark's finger. She's tots jealous pissed that Mark had sex with Gracie and married her. She takes off his wedding ring and orders him to jot it all down in his log book, where all names of intimate contacts go. 

Meanwhile, Mark's wife, Gracie, is going toe to toe with Felix. She tries to garner his sympathy by saying she's never smoked anything, been to a rock concert, or been skinny dipping. Felix's not down with Prolethean drama, and rolls his eyes. "Brilliant, let's start with skinny dipping. The shower's down the hall."

Paul's back! Paul's back! Sarah is getting nowhere with Helena as "Dirty Paul" suddenly arrives. And he is pissed to find Sarah there. "All you had to do was stay away," he says. Oh, Paul, you secretly hoped that would never happen. You're so glad she's there. Paul goes in Sarah's cell with her and she's all handsy, grabbing his coat, pushing him away. Oh just kiss already! But Sarah's too pissed at Paul to see straight, and he can't get through to her, trying to explain that he gave Helena to the Castor Club to keep Sarah safe.

Sarah asks Paul to do the right thing, to just let them go. But he pushes her away, telling her it's out of his hands. He tells Sarah that the military is just another family, that everything they do there is to help Sarah's sisters. Helena needles Paul about Parsons, asking him if "opening up their heads" is part of the common good. Helena tells Paul that Parsons begged her to end it. She tells Paul that "maybe he's next." Sarah piles on, "Yeah Paul, maybe you're next!! And what she said!" 

Paul confronts Coady, and she promises no harm will come to Sarah. Paul is full of doubts, and goes all Captain America searching the hovercraft. He finds Parsons' body and discovers all the horrors Dr. Coady subjected him to. Turns out Paul didn't know the full extent of what they were doing at Camp Clone to help the Castor brothers. 

Stateside, or north of Mexico, or  wherever, Mrs. S has her work cut out for her talking to Gracie. Mrs. S tries to relate to Gracie by telling her that she was married young too, and that her husband was killed. Mrs. S seems so nice and so kind and so thoughtful and all I can think is, "You awful woman! You set up Bates! You cost him and Anna months of happiness!" 

At Clone Club, Cosima is getting what appears to be an amazing ass massage from Shay. Shay is hoping Cosima will ask her to stay, but the ghost of Delphine comes between them. Momentarily. At the last minute Cosima opens up about Delphine. It's enough for Shay. They kiss. 

Things are dragging on at Camp Clone as Sarah makes a last ditch effort to get Helena talking. Sarah knows Helena is planning an escape. Helena asks Sarah if she wants to be her sandwich. "In Siberia, when planning escape you take weak person with you. They're called 'Sandwich' because you eat them." Helena humor falls flat as Sarah plays the Kira card. It seems to work. Helena tells Sarah she has to help her.

While the seestras try to work it out, Felix asks Mrs. S why she never told them her husband was killed. She says it was too painful, she
didn't want to remember it. Gracie bursts into this heavy conversation dressed in....well... Felix wants to know why she's all decked out for a "Victoria's Secret" fashion show. I think that's a bit higher class than what Gracie was going for. Mrs. S asks, "Everything alright, chicken?" No. Gracie wants to play and experience club life, and everything else she's ever missed in her life. Felix and Mrs. S. wisely decide to bring the party to her, breaking out the record player, putting on some music and pouring drinks.

At Camp Clone, Sarah and Helena put their escape plan into action. Step one: Sarah has to piss off Army Clone. She does. He hits her and puts her in the infirmary where the doctor suggests she please show "the brothers" some respect.  Vainer words have never been spoken. An apparently contrite Sarah is taken back to her cell. Her meekness turns out to be due to the fact that she's concealing a pair of tweezers in her mouth. Sarah swings them over to Helena who uses them to get out of her shackles. 

Helena goes back to her hidey hole and reveals the contents: a Titanic's worth of butter. Which she is using to slather herself up with. The big plan? Knock the loose bar in the door out and slide through having been greased up. And it works. Of course. Helena is out! She disables the camera which causes the guard to come back and check out what is going on. When he comes in, Helena kills him. Sarah tells her to grab the keys and get her out, but Helena isn't going to do it. She leaves Sarah behind saying, "Now we are even, Seestra."

As Helena tries to escape, Paul discovers Parson's "log" books. They're filled with the names of women, a sample of each woman's hair and details of their age, height, weight, hair, eyes, complexion, clothing, where they met and "other" details such as "wears too much perfume." While Paul is making this discovery, Art is meeting with the woman who Seth and Rudy tried to assault together. She is wearing sunglasses. When Art asks her why, she says she's sick. For all she knows, Seth and Rudy gave her something.  She takes off her sunglasses revealing red, bloodshot eyes beneath. 

The House Party with drunk Gracie is in full swing until it isn't. Gracie collapses on the carpet, clutching her midsection as Mrs. S screams for Felix to call 911. The paramedics arrive and ask Gracie to open her eyes so they can examine them. Her eyes are just as red as the other woman's. 

At Camp Clone, Helena has made it to the top of the fort and can see freedom on the other side, but she balks. She's torn, wanting to go back to help Sarah. But Pupok is there to push her over the edge, and away from the camp apparently leaving Sarah behind.

Up next: Sarah's major sick. Donnie and Allison! Delphine's back! And so is Rachel! As Felix says, "Lead me to the cyclops!"

Orphan Black Recap: Episode 5 Reviewed by Deborah Thompson on 1:05 AM Rating: 5

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