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Orphan Black Recap: Episode 7 "Community of Dreadful Fear and Hate"

One for each other and all for one, the three brave amigos are we. Seestra to seestra and every one, a brave Amigo...

Take your pick of which tres amigos you like the best: Sarah/Helena/Mrs. S or Alison/Cosima/Felix or Scott/Rachel/Delphine or Cosima/Shay/Delphine or Donnie/Jason/Drug Dealers or Donnie/Connie/Alison.... We're breaking it down Orphan Black Three Amigo style tonight.

At the end of last week's episode Paul sacrificed himself to save Sarah, who was then rescued by Helena. The two sisters are waiting it out in a bar in Mexico as we start the episode. Helena is making herself useful by proving to be as good a gambler as Han Solo at sabacc. Though, perhaps better since she doesn't wind up frozen in carbonite promised to a giant toad.
She and Sarah are waiting for "Benjamin", one of Mrs. S's people to come pick them up. Helena tries first broaching the subject of Paul, but Sarah doesn't want to talk about it. When Sarah mention's Mrs. S, Helena most definitely wants to talk about it. She is going to kill Mrs. S for betraying her to the Castor Clones.

And who should walk in? Indiana Jones Mrs. S, like she has her mojo back. Of all the cantinas, in all the towns, in all of Mexico, she walks into Helena's. And in the background you can hear this.

It's going to be a long night at the Seestra Coral.

Mrs. S decides to immediately go for diplomacy. She's going to have as much luck as Neville Chamberlain. Mrs. S gives it a go, though. She wants Helena to understand she only did what she did so she could get Sarah and Kira out of Dyad. Helena doesn't particularly care. Mrs. S insists they have to "talk this out." But for Helena, that's not happening. The only way out for Mrs. S, she says, is with her throat slit.

In what is perhaps the worst timing in the history of bartending in dangerous Mexican cantinas, the bartender brings over the utinsels for Helena's food right at this moment. Helena doesn't hesitate and goes straight for the knife. But despite her breathtakingly bad judgment a moment before, the bartender quickly swoops in and takes the knife and fork away. Personally? I wouldn't leave Helena the spoon either. 
The bartender moves on from containing Helena to trying to help Sarah. She offers her the use of a room to change and shower. She says, "Where you're going, will be better." She's like the bartender in Quantum Leap. Leaping at the chance to leave the drama behind, Sarah goes to shower.

Far away from the seestra drama, in the House of Cards, Alison is going over her speech for the afternoon's candidate mixer all while trying to allow Donnie to be her monitor. He's checking blood pressure, menstrual flow, temperature... I think Alison's temperature is rising out of frustration. Either way, they decide it's best to keep Dyad on their good s
ide. There's a lot to do today! They gotta turn in campaign signatures, get Alison's mother to sign over her store (Bubbles), and check in with resident drug dealer Jage (aka Jason) who will take them to the resident drug kingpin Pouchy (of cutting off Vic's fingers fame). Dyad seems so tame all of a sudden.

Donnie's syched! The Hendrix's are going to be next level drug dealers if they can get Bubbles as a front. But Alison leaves him hanging, she's too worried about all the things her mother is going to nit-pick her about. And we can all rest easy, her menstrual flow is normal.

Donnie and Alison arrive at the pink capital of the world, Bubbles. Donnie comes bursting in, trying to steamroll Alison's mother, Connie, with kindness and a bit of Park Avenue salesmanship. Connie's not buying, no matter what Donnie promises to "musk up." Alison gets straight to business trying to get Connie to sign. But she's not having it, calling Donnie "Mr. Chubbs." Donnie and Connie. Connie and Donnie. These two nonnies clearly know how to go toe to toe.

Connie says she needs to read the contract first. Alison turns to leave and sees that her mother is voting for Marci Coates.... And she lets it go. For now.

Meanwhile, Shay is re-enacting the Italian Job with Cosima as they have some cuddle time together in bed. Shay claims Cosima's body in the name of Spain. Now wait a minute, Delphine claimed her in the name of France four years ago. This makeout session is interrupted by your friendly neighborhood stalker ex-girlfriend. Speak of the Devil! She's there to tower over Shay and demand a urine sample from Cosima. Not exactly the best way to get back on Cosima's good side. Not that Delphine cares.

Shay goes into the bathroom to eavesdrop while Delphine and Cosima get pissy with each other. Delphine says she's there because she and Scott are worried about Cosima's numbers. Cosima is pretty sure the only reason Delphine is there is to check out Shay.
Cosima takes the pee into cup from Delphine and dismisses her, ordering Delphine to never come to Shay's apartment again.

Cosima goes straight to Scott for help, asking him to cover for her but Scott reminds her they need that urinalysis. She's on it, Scott! Don't people know how hard it is to pee into a cup when there's all this pressure?!

Alison and Donnie are having a married moment where it's best to just walk away and not get into it over creams swaying and yada yada. Jason is there just in time. He tries to reminesce with Alison because they're at their old high school. Donnie shuts it down giving Alison a passionate kiss. He's off with his money filled yellow envelope to meet Pouchy and Alison is off with her signature filled yellow envelope to campaign.

Felix is waiting for her inside having taken on campaign manager duties. Alison gets a text while they're talking from Cosima: she needs Alison's pee. Felix is perplexed but has a thoughtus interuptus when Marci Coates shows up. Marci manages to insult Felix, Alison, gay people, and the most decent human beings during the ten seconds in which she speaks. Alison blows her off to go mingle while Felix takes a phone call on her phone. It's Connie, and she's having a heart attack.

Felix panics and starts searching for Alison. He finally finds her and tells Alison her mother is having a heart attack. "A real one?" says Alison. She's clearly been to this rodeo before. Connie demands that Ali go help her and Alison agrees, much to Felix's disbelief. Doesn't she know there are candidate photos coming up soon?

Meanwhile, Donnie and Not Jesse Pinkman are at Pouchy's. Jason takes the opportunity to do some outloud wish fulfillment talk, saying he wished Alison was there. Donnie puts Jason in his place, telling him not to come between him and his family. Donnie seems to come alive when he's in a car.... He does all his best threatening in there.  Jason tells Donnie to consider his territory "pissed on."

Pouchy is inside waiting, but refusing to speak English. He's got a sexy woman to speak English for him. Donnie quickly pulls out his.... Portugal speaking skills. He impresses and hands over CAMPAIGN LITERATURE. Abort! Abort! Donnie and Alison switched up their envelopes. It's all "Escuela Administrador!" to no avail. Pouchy sends Jason back to get the money while Donnie has to wait to see if they're going to kill him. Donnie is in official timeout.

Back in Mexico, tension is ratcheting up between Mrs. S and Helena who still has a spoon. She puts it down and demands that Mrs. S fight her. Mrs. S declines citing the impending pregnancy. Helena has plans: she will find her boyfriend. Jesse. Pinkman? Together, they will drive tow truck and make a home for their babies.

Sensing that Mrs. S might need some prodding, Helena smacks her across the face. So Mrs. S offers her the other cheek. Helena does not decline. Mrs. S is sticking to the diplomacy when Helena pops her in the face one more time. Mrs. S's IRA instincts finally kick in and she punches Helena right back, gasping in shock, saying, "Shit! I hit you!" She quickly gets Helena in a Good Will Hunting hug and begs her forgiveness... for the punch, the betrayal, everything. Helena seems to be soothed.

While Mrs. S is whispering to Helena, Alison is blowing a gasket with her mother. The heart attack, clearly faked, has passed. And Connie is passing on selling Bubbles to Alison. She's feeling sentimental, or like sticking it to Alison once more. She drags Donnie's name into it, calling him Mr. Chubbs again. Turns out? Not just a slam. It's his actual name: Donald Francis Chubbs. He took Alison's name when they married at Connie's insistence! And that's it for Alison. She's had it, storming out, declaring she's on to victory in the election, and tearing down Marci BitchFace's poster on her way out.

Felix, meanwhile, is desperately trying to get ahold of Alison because it's time to take candidate photos when who should walk in? Cosima! Looking for some pee. She runs into Sarah Stubbs instead, who promptly whisks a now blind Cosima (having taken off her glasses) down the hall. Felix luckily intercepts, taking Cosima into the bathroom, demanding she help him and Alison.

Felix immediately starts dressing Cosima as Alison. Cosima isn't having it. All she wants is her pee! Felix demands to know why Cosima is in need of Alison's pee. Cosima says it's because she doesn't trust Delphine, that it's "Planet Dyad Shit."

Felix scoffs. Cosima, you're on planet Alison now. "If you want the piss, then you're going to have to play along." Time to hide the dreds, lose the glasses, and get a stick up your butt: you're going out as Alison. First step? Giving Cosima "unhappy, sexless marriage" bangs.

Speaking of unhappy and sexless, Scott is playing a very geeky card game, Agricola, with two other unfortunates. Delphine saunters in and interrupts the game, bringing in Rachel for protein testing.

Scott takes the opportunity to covertly show Rachel that he has her father's book, and a painting she did with the same crazy symbols that are in Professor Duncan's book. Rachel feigns interest in Agricola, asking that Scott be allowed to teach her how to do medieval farm building. Scott agrees. He's all in! They're starting without the expansions...

Felix's drama is expanding back at the candidate's mixer. Cosima is blind without her glasses and "over-clenching." Never fear Cosima, Felix is there to Gary "Veep" whisper in your ear. You'll be elected in no time. But just as this farce is going down, the real Alison walks in and sees Cosima. Before she can get too panicky, Jason comes flying in and gives her something to really panic about: they gave Pouchy the wrong envelopes.

He also suggests that perhaps Alison and Donnie shouldn't mix "business and marriage." Oh, Jage. What would be the fun in that? But, as usual, Alison has a plan.

Felix is putting Cosima through her paces, demanding that she give him a bigger and bigger smile when Alison texts him and demands that Felix get downstairs ASAP to help her. The
9-1-1 emergency gets even bigger when Alison's mother chooses this moment to walk into the mixer. As Alison says, "Holy freaking Christmas cake."

Alison quickly leads her mother away and tries to leave her, but Connie insists that Alison wait because it's urgent! But not so urgent that she can't find a way to insult Alison first. Connie dumps: she reveals that Alison's dad wasn't her dad. It was some stranger from a donor clinic. Alison promptly leaves and sicks Jason on her mother while she goes to switch the envelopes.

Back at Dyad Scott is actually explaining Agricola (can you keep from saying it like this?) to Rachel. She cahn't believe it. Oh, yes, Rachel, your Prince Farming is going to keep teaching. It is a new kind of torture for Rachel.

The Pink Hat Society, meanwhile, is quickly turning into a farce for the ages. Alison is filling in Felix on how they accidently gave Sarah Stubbs an envelope with $30,000 cash in it instead of signatures. "Exsqueeze me?" Felix is in shock. Alison finally comes clean and tells Felix that she and Donnie are drug dealers and that Donnie is being held by "some guy named Pouchy." Oh, Alison. Felix and Pouchy are old pals.

Felix can't believe it. "Pouchy? Pouchy, as in the crime lord that cut off Vic's finger?" "Maybe," says Alison. "There are not two Pouchys, darling." says Felix. Said Pouchy has grown tired of Donnie's friendly ramblings and gives a head nod to his goon. The goon slams Donnie's head down onto the table and threatens to cut off his ear with a paper cutter. Pouchy's leftenant heads over to the school to get the money. If she doesn't have it in 30 minutes, Donnie is done.

Alison quickly swaps the envelopes just as Marci Coates materializes behind her and accuses her
of trying to slip in the signatures after the deadline. When this doesn't rattle Alison, Marci reminds her of the last time she tried to speak in public and how she choked. It works. Alison is rattled.

Meanwhile, Jason and Connie are strolling down Memory Lane. Jason uses his charm to convince Connie to sell her store to Alison and Mr. Chubbs. He reminds Connie that Alison will be the one running the store, not Donnie. It works.

Donnie is calling Alison telling her to come outside and meet Pouchy's lady just as Sarah Stubbs announces it's time for the candidates speeches. Pouchy's lady demands that Alison get in the car. Alison hesitates for just a minute before jumping in.

Marci Coates is giving her speech while Cosima paces waiting for Alison. Felix comes bursting in to tell Cosima she must be Alison for just a little while longer and please read her speech! Uh, Felix, blind over here. At this point, Felix does. not. care. He drags Cosima out to make her debut as a political candidate.

And Pouchy's lady is dragging out the counting of the money. Alison calls her on it, saying she doesn't have time to sit and watch her count to 30. This of course makes Le Dame Pouchy start her counting all over again just to be a you know what. She finally gets done counting just as Pouchy is about to cut off Donnie's nose. The money is all there. Donnie is free to go. Donnie asks to use the restroom and as Kristian Bruun said, Donnie then threw out his underwear and showered.

This gives Cosima just enough time to get up on stage and try and present a speech as Alison. She elects to go with "family values" as the theme of her speech and announces to everyone that she is a lesbian. Before quickly covering it up and saying "As a lesbian..... supporter."

Alison has managed to get back inside just as Cosima gets a coughing fit. Felix waves her off stage so Alison can step in. Alison gives a great speech and everyone applaudes her.

Afterwards, Cosima is trying to get away when Jason finds her and gives her a big kiss thinking that she is Alison. When Alison finally finds Cosima after the speech to give her pee, Cosima tells Alison about the kiss. Alison seems to be very excited about this. She's also not gonna give Cosima her pee. She's on to Cosima, but Cosima still won't admit that she's sick again.

Alison's mother chooses this moment to come busting into the bathroom. Connie's full of good news: Alison was awesome, she's voting for her, and she's signed the papers: Donnie and Alison own Bubbles. Alison is overcome with emotion, but her mother makes sure to burst the bubble, telling Alison she knows one day Alison will do the right thing and get rid of Donnie.

That's about all Alison can take. She drags out Cosima to meet her mother and introduces her as her clone. Cosima quietly slips away to leave Alison and her mother to chat. Connie doesn't get it. She knows Cosima looks like Alison, but denies they're clones: "That girl was mulatto."

Alison tries to tell her mother that Cosima is her clone, but her mother just breezes right over the facts and starts fabricating her own version of the truth.

Alison doesn't care to listen to anymore and leaves her mother to her ramblings in the bathroom.

Down in Mexico, Sarah and Mrs. S are wrapping things up. Mrs. S is going to be granny to Helena's baby and they're all going to live happily ever after. Or something like that. In tow trucks. They fill each other in on all that's happened since they were separated: the death of Paul, Gracie. It's all been too much.

Rachel has had too much of Agricola and wants some answers from Scott. She reveals that the symbols are a secret language Professor Duncan and Rachel used to communicate. Scott asks Rachel to translate it for him. She begins to go through the book, cracking the code. Scott demands to know what it says. But Rachel will only tell Sarah. This again?

While Scott and Rachel are sparing, Cosima and Shay are bonding. Cosima is trying to wash off the politics of suburbia with a bath when she decides to fill in Shay. Cosima tells Shay she has a serious health issue. As Shay begins to ask about it, Cosima starts bleeding profusely into the water.

Next time on Orphan Black: Helena moves in with Donnie and Alison as Jason moves in on Alison. Rachel Skypes with Sarah and Delphine meets with platinum blonde Leda clone Crystal.

Orphan Black Recap: Episode 7 "Community of Dreadful Fear and Hate" Reviewed by Deborah Thompson on 1:09 AM Rating: 5

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