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Sleepy Hollow Recap: I, Witness (Episode 1)


You've kept us waiting too long, FOX. Give us IchAbbie or give us death! Ask and ye shall receive: Headless rides up out of the swirling mist to start Season Three of Sleepy Hollow. Alas, this red eye flight of horseman fury is cut short by our big new bad for this season: Pandora. Not only was she the first woman on earth (thank you Zeus), she's the first woman to cause Headless' "sword" to malfunction. Pandora starts a creepy, might as well be sung by scary children in a dark attic, song which causes Headless to disintegrate into a fine mist. She promptly traps said mist in her literal box, ax and all. The genie is back out of the bottle pretty quick, though, as Pandora gives Headless' power to a red mist demon and tells him, "We have work to do." Poor Abraham. He's never going to meet a nice girl.

And that is how you get back into Sleepy Hollow with a bang. Chick power! Speaking of, Abbie's not doing too bad herself knocking out bad guys as we find her whooping a fleeing con with Oscar the Grouch's roof. Abbie drags Johnny the con back to the standard fed car and to her superior. Turns out Abbie is now "Agent Mills" and "Sir" (C. Thomas Howell!!) is not interested in Abbie's stories about back in the day at the Sleepy Hollow Sheriff's department. In the nine months since we last saw Abbie she's gone on to train with the FBI. "Sir" wants Abbie to keep track of her informant and show him what she's got. Abbie's moving up in the world. So that only leaves one unanswered question: where's Mr. Crane?

Crane is the new orange: Ichabod has been detained by ICE for trying to bring restricted materials into the country. After five days of incarceration he finally broke down and called Abbie. She's there to help despite the fact that she totally hasn't heard from him in 9 months! Ichabod says he needed solitude at first,then it turned into a bad not talking to Abbie habit. Those are the worst kinds, Crane! To make it up to her, Crane shows Abbie he's still wearing Katrina's necklace. Not the best way to mend those wounds... But turns out there's something wrong with it.

It was the necklace Katrina wore to see Headless as Abraham, a link to his soul. Crane was in the midst of a come to Jesus moment the night before, with Jesus, his cellmate, when the necklace went beserk and broke. Crane is convinced it means something wicked this way comes. Abbie can only shake her head to say, "Here we go again." She demands to know what Crane was trying to smuggle in. He says it was an artifact, "Leftenant." Oh, it's "Agent" now Crane, and you better just be glad she's still talking to you and getting you out of jail. Abbie manages to get C-dawg out of jail without too much political rhetoric. And just like that, the team is back together again.

Meanwhile, back in the woods, Bo and Luke or is it Sawyer and Jack? Either way I'm lost as to who these two are. Turns out they are the obligatory drunk guys who are about to get killed by a horrific monster after fighting. Inside the cabin, Darth Maul kills both men, leaving a bloody mess behind.

Away from the bloodbath, Abbie and Crane are catching up on what they missed: Crane on a plane, he needs to keep calling Abbie Leftenant even though she's an agent, and why the hell has Crane cut his hair? Crane's not saying why he shed his locks, but he does tell Abbie that he felt adrift after Katrina and Henry died. He decided to go back to his ancestral home in Scotland in search of other Cranes. He didn't find any annoying cousins, but he did find a tomb marker for himself. Inside was a 4,000 year-old Sumerian stone tablet, the one that got him busted by customs when he tried to bring it back to the US. Before it was confiscated, he was able to translate some of it. It said: prepare the way for Gozer The Legend of Sleepy Hollow. Crane thinks this means they still have a mission left as witnesses. Abbie says her new mission is the FBI.

To prove her point, she gets called out to the Darth Maul murders with Crane of course tagging along.The theory at the scene is that it was an animal attack, but funny red residue and a unearthly paw print tell Crane and Abbie otherwise. Luckily Crane has duty free dragon's breath. When you sprinkle it on your carpet it gets the stain right out. And it also bursts into bright blue flame if evil is around. Which it does. As Crane says, "Evil has returned to Sleepy Hollow." Game on!

Abbie takes Crane to the local FBI headquarters and shows off her office. He is suitably impressed. Abbie is filling him in on her efforts to take down a drug ring when Special Agent Doug Granger bursts in (our "Sir" from earlier). He wants Abbie in his office, and Crane wants Abbie to stop focusing on drug lords and become a full time witness. Abbie thinks Crane is making up evil to give himself a purpose. But Crane is convinced they are still needed, reminding her the Bible says the witnesses must endure seven tribulations. Moloch was just the first. Enter Dani, a lab tech who immediately falls in love with Crane at first sight. She does manage to get out between pheromones that the victims in the woods had elevated terror levels when they died: they were frozen in fear. Shoo Dani.

Next stop: the archives. Only Abbie has bad news. It's scheduled for demolition, despite it's historical value. Crane can't believe his ears. Or his eyes when Jenny finally makes an appearance! She informs Crane that Captain Irving has fled the country to keep his family safe. With the gang all here, Crane says they are looking for the bestiary texts, you know, a demon catalog (probably not as thick as the Sears Christmas catalog). They need to find a demon that preys on fear.

Off in a demon cave in the woods Pandora recites some poetry as she looks into some water. The fear of the men who died appears to be in there as she takes a cup full out and pours it on a tree which immediately causes it to grow. Pandora tells us that fear is a very powerful thing. Looks like the only thing we have to fear is fear itself. In spades..

Back at the archives our super sleuths get some more information when the lab report comes in. The red substance is cinnabar, a not so tasty treat found in the hides of some demons like Yao-guai, a ancient Chinese battlefield demon drawn to fighting. It paralyzes it's victims with fear. As Abbie notes, someone powerful had to have summoned the demon. Looks like they have a new player in town.

When in doubt, consult Benjamin Franklin. Crane pulls out Benji's sketch book and reveals the time our Darth Maul demon fought in the battle of Bunker Hill, scaring the bejeezus out of a bunch of Americans resulting in heavy losses early on for the patriots. However, the Pats figured out a way to defeat the red devil and conveyed the details in a message General Washington had hand delivered to Colonel Prescott by the bestest most awesomest secret agent ever: Betsy Ross. Say what? Look out Dani, Crane says Betsy was a woman of "many talents" not the least of which involved running up the flag. Abbie calls Crane out, and reveals that he and Betsy were a "thing."

Crane flashes back to that one time at Revolutionary War camp when he drove Betsy undercover behind enemy lines. They exchange a bit of flirty flirty before she kisses him "for luck" and leaves to deliver her secret messages. Back in present day, Jenny has figured out that Betsy's secret love notes were handed down via Colonel Prescott's estate before being sold to "Colonial Times" which turns out to be a theme restaurant. Crane is not impressed by their use of the artifacts or the miniature golf course. Crane informs the man in colonial garb at the front that his tricorn is on backwards and he sounds like an idiot.

Crane is barely able to contain his horror at the menu as Abbie sneaks Betsy's pouch out. Crane opens it to find a code inside. He thinks he can break it, but Abbie's gotta jet: she has a drug ring to bring down. While Abbie's carpooling with Crane, Pandora has taken to the roads walking along in her crazy costume. A police officer spots her and tries to question her to find out what she's doing. Pandora morphs into some modern day clothes and convinces the officer to leave her alone. She plans to enjoy this walk to Sleepy Hollow.

While Pandora's 5k continues, Jenny is going through items she stole for the late Sheriff Corbin including what looks like a volcanic rock. Crane interrupts her memory lane-ing and asks for her help interpreting Betsy Ross's message. So far Crane has figured out that the demon is attracted by two things: aggression and gunpowder. Jenny recalls that gunpowder was created during the Tang dynasty, when the demon was created, so it totally makes sense why it likes gunpowder. Oh, and by the way, Crane says, Abbie's on her way to get into a gunfight with a big drug ring. Hello! Jenny quickly figures out where the demon will be attacking next.

Abbie and Agent Granger are taking off after a drug ringer when the demon shows up. It's flashbacks to when we lost Sheriff Corbin all over again. Only this time, Abbie is prepared for supernatural freaks. She sees the demon and rushes in to save Granger. But alas, it is Corbin 2.0 as the demon slashes Granger's neck. At least he didn't lose his head, but he did lose his life.

The FBI is out to get the drug ringer Granger was chasing, and Abbie isn't about to tell them they should be hunting demons instead.  Abbie managed to shoot the demon and drive it away, a fact she tells Crane and Jenny later back at the archives. She also remembers that its eyes turned white when it attacked. Now it all makes sense to Crane. Using Betsy's satchel he reveals that Prescott told his men, "Don't fire until you see the whites of their eyes." And here we thought it was because the Americans were low on gunpowder and they wanted to make sure they didn't miss. It was demon born instruction! It's going to take teamwork to bring down the demon.

Abbie gets a call that they've got drug ringer holed up in a standoff. He wants to talk to Abbie, and only her. She's on her way to help and Crane and Jenny are on their way loaded up with weapons. Jenny drops some gunpowder on the ground to attract the demon just in case he doesn't want to make an appearance. Meanwhile, Abbie slides into the standoff to talk to the drug ringer, Lorenzo Chang. He's demanding that she tell everyone about the monster she saw that killed Granger.

Alright already! Sheesh. Abbie says, yes, she's seen the monster and more monsters than you can ever imagine Lorenzo so take a seat. He begins to cry, overcome and Abbie gets the hostages out of the room. Unfortunately, this angers Lorenzo and he starts shooting everywhere, attracting the demon. Before it can make it inside to Abbie, Jenny manages to get its attention so that it begins to chase her and Crane. Don't you love it when a plan comes together?

Crane tells Jenny he will draw the demon near, she will do the white eye shooting. All goes perfectly until it doesn't. Just as the demon draws Crane into the fear and turns its eyes white, Jenny slips on a weak cardboard box and can't take the shot. The demon pulls off Crane and goes after Jenny, sending her flying. He then turns on Crane, dumping him down a shoot into more flimsy cardboard boxes. Do not buy boxes from this company. Just as it looks like Crane is done for, the demon goes white eye and then is shot. Abbie has arrived just in time to destroy the demon. Crane is extremely grateful and our two heroes hug it out. Welcome back indeed.

Abbie and Crane celebrate by going to reclaim the confiscated Sumerian tablet. Crane is impressed with Abbie's power but snipes that it is exactly the kind of abuse of federal power Thomas Jefferson warned against. Abbie still helps a fella out and gets the tablet, only to discover a picture underneath which seems to resemble our two witnesses. Crane and Abbie decide further interpretation of the tablet requires alcohol. At the bar, Crane reveals that under the picture it says, "destroyers."

Abbie is incredulous, but admits their work is not done, much to Crane's glee. But she's not quite ready to admit the Second Tribulation has begun. Jenny brings over some drinks which she apparently got for free because she works there. While Jenny goes to stock up on refills, Crane admits that while America is not the country he thought it would be, it is the country he has. More importantly, Abbie reminds Crane that he is not alone. Ahem.

While Abbie goes to settle the tab, she runs right into Pandora (smooth lady). Pandora introduces herself and reveals that her box is actually more of a dowry. Pandy and Abbie chat for a bit before Abbie excuses herself, leaving Pandora to turn her eyes yellow with no one around to appreciate it.

And that's all for the premiere of season three! Let us know if you enjoyed this episode. And what do you think of Pandora?



Sleepy Hollow Recap: I, Witness (Episode 1) Reviewed by Deborah Thompson on 12:43 AM Rating: 5

1 comment:

  1. The actress who plays Dani is Alex Sgambati. She will appear again (to make more moon eyes at Ichabod??). She won't be in the next episode, but should appear in the following three.

    ReplyDelete

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