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Sleepy Hollow Recap: The Sisters Mills, Episode Four

You'll have to forgive the lateness of this recap. When your team is playing to go to the World Series you have to watch! Ichabod surely appreciates this great American pastime even if the team's name is "Royals." Take the Crown!

Now to the recap... This episode has just started and I'm already covering my eyes cowering in fear. Two little girls in a tent made out of bedsheets holding a flashlight: something bad's going to happen. Sleepy's writers try to confuse us by having a loving father play gotcha but we know. This is Sleepy Hollow. Yep. There it is: as soon as dad leaves the room and turns out the lights (father of the year that one) a creepy ass ugly horrifying monster shows up to suck the life out of one of the little girls.

Across town, or just down the street as I have no idea where they live, Ichabod is trying to turn off Abbie by playing video games and leaving water circles on his study book for the citizenship test. Ichabod is positive he's got this. He KNOWS history. Abbie's not sure as she reminds him they will test on events after 1781. Plus, turns out, we should all be celebrating the Second of July rather than the Fourth, just one of the many discrepancies between actual facts and what is taught in civics today. Crane's firsthand knowledge of history may not help him navigate they myth of American history.

And what's this? "Zoe" aka Miss Corinth is texting Crane now. Let's just put the brakes on that relationship there Mr. Crane. But that's not going to happen. As Abbie observes, Miss Zoe is texting him at a rate of 20 texts an hour. Crane decides to go on the offensive and change the subject demanding to know when Abbie is going to tell Jenny that she's found their father. How come we just get old angry married couple IchAbbie without the wedding? Mercifully, though the scene is hysterical, Abbie gets a call from Joe Corbin.

Joe was called to the scene of the monster attack and he's calling from the hospital to bring in Abbie and Crane to help. The little girl that was attacked has fallen into a coma and her sister insists a monster did it. Unfortunately, Pandora is also on the scene, doing her best Nurse Ratched impression. She tells the other little girl her sister will be just fine. Oh, and she really likes her sister's doll. I suppose it would be too much to ask that she just take the doll and go.

As Pandora exits stage right, Abbie and Jenny show up. The Mills sisters know all about being attacked as young girls by monsters. The little girl's name turns out to be Saffron. Not to be confused with Sage or Rosemary. Saffron's not ready to talk, but the team believes her. Crane thinks what Pandora really wants is widespread fear.

The next day, Abbie calls Agent Reynolds about the case. Must we put up with Zoe and her speed sexting as well as Mr. Hotty McAgent in the same episode?! Oh. She's just asking for time to work on the case without him. Phew. Jenny, Crane, and Abbie are at the girls' house to investigate. Abbie observes that the girls' room reminds her of the one she shared with Jenny. Abbie remembers the circular window that was above her bed. Their dad used to encourage them to pretend it was a portal to magical adventures. Jenny doesn't recall this particular element of their childhood, but she remembers that their dad left them. Oh! Opening Abbie! But she slides right past it balking at bringing up what she knows about their dad to Jenny. Especially as Jenny doesn't seem too fond of their AWOL father.

Meanwhile, Crane has climbed into Saffron's tree house where he tries to woo her by using the old quarter in your ear magic trick. Crane, the girl just saw a real life monster. You're going to need more impressive magic than that. But Crane isn't going to be deterred. He continues to speak, rather loudly and absurdly, to Saffron. Mercifully he bangs his head on the ceiling finally eliciting a laugh from Saffron. The ice having been broken, and Crane shown how not to behave with children, Saffron reveals her father doesn't believe her about the monster. Crane encourages her to draw a picture of the monster. It's not exactly the best police sketch I've ever seen, but it has a certain likeness to it. Saffron tells the team the monster is in fact the Tooth Fairy. As Chandler would say, what kind of scary-ass tooth fairies came to your room?

Sadly, the tooth fairy revelation reminds Crane of a tragic story involving Betsy Ross. (Is there any other kind, really?)  Once upon a time, Betsy's niece succumbed to a similar coma after losing a tooth. The little girl was clinging on, but 16 other children had died after losing a tooth and falling into a coma. It wasn't looking good. Crane wanted to help her, but Betsy had already called in Paul Revere (yes, that Paul Revere). The dentist is coming! The dentist is coming! Betsy shut Ichabod out of the sickroom, leaving her inside with Revere and her niece. Shortly after, a blinding flash of light is seen under the door.

Crane reveals that Revere was a soldier in the war against evil, and he had a cure to defeat the tooth fairy in his dental bag. Turns out, Revere was also a terrible dentist, so much so that it has turned Crane off from having visited a dentist the entire time he's been in Sleepy Hollow. And now we know why Abbie and Crane haven't kissed yet. Abbie tries to encourage him to see one, but he's not having it. What he does have, is his magical book of all knowledge that has some information about the tooth fairy legend.

Turns out the actual tooth fairy is a demon called Abyzou who sucks the life out of a child through the open wound in their mouth and keeps the tooth as a trophy of their kill. Think Carol Kane in Scrooged. It takes 48 hours to kill the child though, so Jessica, the sister in the coma, has 36 hours left to live. Just enough time for our team to save her. We hope. The only known weakness of the Abyzou is silver. So that's why parents started giving their kids dimes and nickels and quarters for losing a tooth and why a generation of parents have now doomed their children to a soul sucking by upgrading to a dollar for a lost tooth. I knew there was a good reason why that seemed like too much money. Bad news though, sounds like the creature is visible only to children. Looks like Saffron's going to be joining Scooby and the gang.

Meanwhile, a sadistic mother is checking her child's tooth and threatening to pull it out for him, exposing him to the Abyzou. Fortunately, he declines. Unfortunately, the Abyzou is lying in wait in the closet unbeknownst to the mother who merrily informs her child that there is no such thing as monsters. She then abandons her child to the dark, turning off the light and leaving the room. Mother of the year that one. The little boy decides to check out the closet for himself only to have the Abyzou sneak up on him from behind. He manages to get out of the room and away from the monster.

Jenny and Crane are brainstorming ideas of how to save the children without causing mass hysteria. They decide to send Crane to the local elementary school to pose as curator of a hysterical historical museum. Jenny is having lots of fun recording Crane's presentation on George Washington and the state of his teeth (which she will upload to Facebook later no doubt). Crane gets the children to tell him who has a loose tooth, but our monster fleeing child, Gregory, doesn't want to admit to the crazy ranting stranger that he has a loose tooth.

With that, class is dismissed. The teacher decides to violate HIPAA and lets Crane and Jenny know Gregory is about to loose a tooth. Jenny gives Gregory a big silver coin and says it will protect him from things that go bump in the night. That's all well and good, but what Jenny really wants is the Abyzou dead. Crane's thinking silver bullets. Abbie, meanwhile, is working on getting Revere's dental bag which presumably will help them defeat the monster. When her conversation with the museum holding the bag goes sideways, Crane steps in and charms them with colonialspeak. The bag will be here tomorrow.

Abbie and Jenny head over to Gregory's house to stake it out while Joe and Crane watch the other little girl's house (who also had a loose tooth). After speaking over walkie talkies Abbie hears Crane slurping his Big Gulp and chastises him about not seeing a dentist just as Zoe decides to text him again. Joe calls Ichabod out when Crane tries to claim he's not involved with Zoe, pointing out that they're texting every two minutes. Crane insists that he doesn't want to complicate his working relationship with Zoe by mixing in personal feelings. Does that go for Abbie, too?

Inside Gregory's house he's begging his babysitter to get off the phone with her boyfriend and protect him from the damn tooth fairy! Yeah, yeah, she says. Meanwhile, outside, Abbie finally tells Jenny she's found their father. It's old news to Jenny, though. She's known for five years and never told Abbie. While the Mills sisters bicker over this, Gregory finally looses his tooth, causing the monster to immediately appear. His scream alerts Jenny and Abbie who rush in to help. Gregory tries to tell them where the monster is as they can't see it. While trying to hit it with a silver ax, Jenny hits the sprinkler. The gushing water partially reveals the monster but its not enough. The monster knocks down Jenny and then knocks out Abbie.

Abbie is rushed to the hospital where Crane and Jenny watch over her as she remains unconscious. I'd be worried, but FOX is promoting the Bones Sleepy Hollow crossover for next week so I know she'll be okay. Jenny, not having cable, isn't so sure and wants to stay at the hospital with Abbie while Crane goes back to the archives to look for more help. Saffron is also there to commiserate with Jenny. Jenny offers Saffron an encouraging, uplifting speech only to leave the room and allow Pandora to sweep in with her negativity. Pandora says she has just the thing Saffron needs to make her sister better: a little tiny golden pouch.

Back at the archives, Ichabod is disgusted with the contents of Paul Revere's bag as it has finally arrived. It contains nothing more than dentistry tools. Crane is bitter about Revere still, and starts rattling off his famous sayings in jest until he realizes one may actually hold the answer: the sum of its parts. The tools all fit together to form one super weapon. Crane and Jenny figure out that the weapon uses silver nitrate to expose the monster's weakness so it is vulnerable to a kill shot.

That's all well and good, but in the meantime, Pandora is walking the halls of the hospital humming a deadly tune ready to kill Abbie. Or is she? She grabs Abbie's arm, and does some magic, causing Abbie to wake up. Abbie is less than pleased to see her as Pandora's bedside manner leaves much to be desired especially as she's calling her names like "Napalutu." Pandora just wants to know from Abbie, what's the one thing she can't accept to lose? Pandora reveals that she had a pretty nasty childhood at the hands of her father before finally feeding him to the lions. Her parting words to Abbie are that it's such a tragedy what's going to happen to those two little girls.

Back at Saffron's house, she opens the golden pouch and pulls a tooth from it. She puts it on the floor of her treehouse and waits for the monster to arrive. When it finally does, so does Crane who shoots the silver nitrate at it. He and Jenny give chase into the woods, but lose track of the monster. It attacks, knocking Crane to the ground. He manages to throw nitrate all over it, revealing the monster again. Jenny swoops in and stabs the monster with a poker. Once the monster disappears, Jessica, the girl attacked at the beginning of the show, wakes up. Abbie's also awake and tells Crane he and Jenny saved the day.

All's well that ends well. Except that it doesn't as we suddenly have a Betsy Ross flashback to that one time at weapons camp when Crane looked longingly at Betsy as she tried her hand at swordplay. She rushes over and apologizes for literally and figuratively shutting him out from helping her with her sick niece. Crane says he's the one who's sorry as he thought there was something more between them than just a working relationship. Okay, let him down easy Betsy. But she doesn't, she jumps him instead and pulls him into a kiss which Crane is only too happy to return. Sadly, Crane is having this colonialback while sitting in a present day dentist chair with Abbie watching over him.

Let's use this for the greater good, Ichabod, and apply those lessons learned from Ms. Ross to Ms. Mills. Crane can only marvel at his teeth, however, and how amazingly clean they are. Abbie calls him out on his "dream" and then textblocks him with Zoe who is once again trying to get ahold of Crane. In his loopy state, Crane allows Abbie to go through the texts. She observes that they're pretty flirty and don't have much to do with obtaining citizenship. Ahem.

A little while later, at FBI headquarters, Jenny tells Abbie she has a lead on the woman who tried to steal the Shard of Anubis last episode. Abbie is a bit aloof until Jenny apologizes for not letting her know about their father. Abbie then has some ominous words, that no fight is ever going to keep the Mills sisters apart again. That's just asking for trouble making declarations like that Abbie.

Back home, Abbie and Crane are searching for the word that Pandora called Abbie in the hospital: "Napalutu." It's another Sumerian link, a word meaning destroyers. It's also, by the way, the same word inscribed on the tablet Ichabod found. The more Sumerian, the merrier, it turns out as Crane thinks this Pandy isn't of the Greek Zeus variety but more like Gozer the Destructor and she can only be there for one thing: to make sure IchAbbie turn into the Stay Puft threat to Sleepy Hollow. Pandora seems to agree with this as the closing shot is of her in her underground lair laughing merrily as another bloom on the tree of death opens up.
Sleepy Hollow Recap: The Sisters Mills, Episode Four Reviewed by Deborah Thompson on 12:39 PM Rating: 5

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