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Outlander Recap: La Dame Blanche (S2.E4)

Previously on Outlander.... Black Jack Randall's metahuman powers help him survive cow attacks, Bonnie Prince Charlie is more like Bonehead Prince Charlie, the Comte is still a hot ass, and Claire and Jamie haven't made love in months. Paris in springtime, it turns out, kinda sucks.

Sing me a song this open seems so long.... Ah, there we go, finally over the sea to Pariee. Tonight Carriage Talk! Click and Clack explain how to fix broken carriage wheels. But first, chess. (All this chess makes me extremely grateful DIA is written from Claire's first person perspective so we didn't have to read the tediousness that is watching chess). Claire is at Versailles to watch Jamie play the French Finance Minister and to discover that she and Jamie have terrible ideas for baby names: Lambert and Dalhousie. The poor child. Claire wanders off to get poisoned after getting the stink eye from the Comte. Jamie rushes her home when she collapses.

Never fear, it's just bitter cascara, a pseudo poison that gives the victim terrible stomach cramps. Claire tells Jamie she's pretty sure it was the Comte that poisoned her. But they can't afford to do anything about it right now because it's all about Prince Charlie! Jamie decides the best way to bring him down is a dinner party. Charlie will expose himself for the moron he is to the Duke of Sandringham thus depriving him of funds for his uprising. But that means Alex Randall, brother of BJR, will be there, so Claire tells Jamie of Black Jack's survival. And boy is he glad to hear it. Jamie thought he'd missed the chance to kill Randall, but turns out, he still gets to have a go at him. This is the best thing Jamie's heard since finding out that Claire on your feet soldiered him.

The next morning Claire runs into Murtagh who's noticed Jamie's good mood. "Yes, I told him Black Jack Randall was still alive. Don't know what you were so worried about," she says. Claire then visits Master Raymond and reads him the riot act for selling bitter cascara to the Comte. Raymond claims if he did, he didn't know it. Oh, and it's time to check out his hidey-hole. In a secret room Raymond keeps dinosaur skulls and fortune telling bones. Claire tells Raymond she's worried about a friend, Frank. She thinks his future is in danger what with Jamie threatening to kill his ancestor. The bones tell her Frank's fine (fuck Frank!) and she will see him again. Ruh roh. Listen, Raymond, she didn't want to see him again, she just wants him to be alright. Grand Master Ray makes up for it by giving her a stone to wear that will tell her if poison is near.

Then it's off to Louise's! Claire finds out two important things: Louise's monkey bites everyone but her, and she's pregnant. Not by the monkey. This last bit is alarming because the baby is her lover's, not her husband's. Claire suggests Louise try to pass the baby off as her husband's to avoid a dangerous abortion. Louise is willing to give the death alternative a go.

Claire is already in bed when Jamie gets home, and that's just where he wants her. It looks like he's finally ready to reclaim their love life when they're rudely interrupted by the bite marks prominently displayed on his inner thighs. Claire is PISSED. But Jamie insists that nothing happened. He tries to reassure her that while he was filled with lust for the whore, it's a good thing. Annnnd this is where things gang aft agley. Claire is, did we mention, pissed because Jamie hasn't touched her for months but found himself turned on. Jamie tells her it's because he's finally gotten the good news about Black Jack being alive. He finally feels like a man again. "WITH ANOTHER FUCKING WOMAN YOU TWAT!" yells Claire.

Claire feels like she's been going through everything on her own and she's had it. Jamie insists that Claire doesn't understand what he's been going through so she urges him to make her understand. And we finally get that beautiful passage from the first book where Jamie explains what it feels like to have your soul destroyed. That the thing inside of him that was once protected by a huge fortress, the most private part of yourself, was now blown apart and the thing that live there was now alone and naked, shivering, exposed and helpless, trying to hid under a blade of grass. Jamie leaves Claire, speechless, to go sleep somewhere else. A short time later, Claire goes to him, naked, and urges him to come find her. The two make love, with Jamie telling Claire afterwards that she has helped build a leanto for his broken soul, and a roof to keep out the rain.

We interrupt this magical amazingly romantic moment to bring you the Bonnie Prince Charlie, appearing tonight in the Frasers' home. He's coming to us direct from their roof, having hopped ala Batman all the way across town from Louis' home. They had a spat as it turns out Charlie is Louis' lover and her baby daddy. This gives Claire and Jamie a wonderful, awful idea. They'll invite Louise to their dinner next week so Charlie will lose his shit and be even more of an idiot. Mark me, it may just work! I like bad Claire and Jamie.

A week later, it's the day of the dinner party and Claire's gone off to the hospital with Murtagh, Fergus, and Mary in tow. Fergus explains women to Murtagh in a hilarious scene while they wait. Claire's work keeps her there late and then the carriage wheel breaks, so it looks like a walk home in the dark. Ack. What could possibly go wrong?

Back home, Jamie is holding down the fort, greeting his guests for the dinner party. First up? Duke of Sandringham and then a whole bunch of other people. Jamie shoots daggers at the clock wanting to know where is Jamie? Mark me! It's the Prince. He's there at last. Then the devil himself arrives, the Comte St. Germain, thanks to the machinations of the Duke who invited him.

On the walk home, Mary confides to Claire that she's been secretly corresponding and is in love with a Randall. Which one, Mar? You're going to have to be more specific. Frank? Black Jack? Alex? Turns out she met Alex at Versailles and is now desperately in love with him. Hold that thought, Mary. Things are about to get ugly. A gang of men set upon Claire, Mary and Murtagh. The men knock out Murtagh and rape Mary. They then turn on Claire, but when they see her face they run away in fear, saying, "It's La Dame Blanche!"

At the dinner party, Louise and her husband finally arrive and are introduced to the Prince, who totally kisses Louise's hand for far too long. Jamie is pulled away from the awkward social encounter by the arrival of Claire and Mary. Jamie wants to storm the streets with Murtagh to find the men who attacked them, but Claire insists they go on with the dinner party. Alex Randall arrives to take care of Mary and Claire goes to get ready. Alex promises Claire he won't leave Mary's side.

And the evening just keeps getting better as Claire finds out the Comte is there for dinner. She steels herself and heads downstairs where all the guests are waiting. Dinner is finally served and it looks like things will go as planned (despite Claire getting stuck next to the Comte) Jamie eventually lets it slip, nudge nudge wink wink, that Louise is pregnant. Charlie's reaction is priceless, and it probably would've gotten even better, except....

For some unknown reason Alex Randall decides to leer over Mary as a way to help her. When she wakes up she is terrified, and rushes from the room to escape him. Mary and Alex come crashing into the next room with Alex falling on top of her. (Another great move to help a rape victim). Mary's screams draw the entire dinner party away from the table and into the room. Unfortunately for Alex, it looks like he is raping Mary so her uncle and fiancee try to attack. Jamie steps in to stop them and the next thing you know there's an all out brawl, Murtagh stepping in to help.

The Comte takes advantage of the situation, calling the police and leading Prince Charlie out with him. Claire can only watch helplessly as Jamie and Murtagh make quick work of all the men. To sort of quote Jim from the Office, "Jamie and Murtagh seem to be playing their own separate game. and it's called Let's See How Uncomfortable We Can Make Our Guests."

Outlander Recap: La Dame Blanche (S2.E4) Reviewed by Deborah Thompson on 11:42 PM Rating: 5

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